I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
BRING THE BAGELS
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
