It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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