wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Why is there bacon in the couch?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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