so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
