Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
