belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
