Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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