Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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