Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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