Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
