Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
