Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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