How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
