this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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