The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
