If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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