You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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