"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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