If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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