We won't sleep together?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
