and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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