im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
