We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
