I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
