he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize