ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
