Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
