Well douche your snatch and let's go!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
