last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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