They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
