dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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