I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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