if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
