I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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