I puked a lego.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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