im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
