have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
