I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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