Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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