i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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