i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
