Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
