We won't sleep together?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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