actually, I'm a sock model
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
