It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's never too late to be topless.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
