Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
