to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
