piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
