Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
