you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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