My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
