But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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