i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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