So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
