Pappa wants mamma naked
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
