I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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