Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
