You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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