i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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