life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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