hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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